Self confidence is an important tool you need in life. High self confidence can lead to greater success and happiness in life while low confidence and low self esteem have a negative impact on your mental health, relationships with others and can lead to anxiety and depression. Last month, my self confidence has taken a hit and I had a meltdown for couples of days until I realize that I was missing out on life by locking myself in the room and crying all the tears I had. I have then decided to do some researches on how to rebuild self confidence. Here is 5 ways to rebuild my self confidence.
Five ways to rebuild your self confidence
1. Start an internal evaluation
Low confidence and self esteem don’t come naturally at birth, you were not born like that, get that clear. Start first by doing a self evaluation, ask yourself, what happened? What has led you to loose your self confidence? Why are you feeling the way you feel? write it down. Writing will help you get it out of your chest, it will help you realize things you didn’t even think about or things you ignored. It okay to cry and feel bad, don’t fight your thoughts, let them come out and acknowledge them the way they come.
Writing has always been therapeutic for me, I write my feelings, my joys, what I am grateful for, my fears, my hopes, I love writing it makes me feel better. I poured out all my tears on paper. Moreover, the research suggested to think of some areas of your life you would like to improve and commit to work on them. Ultimately, stay true to yourself.
2. Talk to a trusted friend about what happened
Now that you know what exactly happen and the reason you feel the way you feel, talk to a trusted friend about that. This may be your best friend or someone you trust and you know they only want the best for you. Keeping it to yourself will only eat you up, create insecurities which feed off isolation and stress. Talk to a friend, tell them your frustrations, tell them all the details of what happened and let it out of you. This might help you see things differently and re-boost your confidence.
I usually to to the same friend about my problems, this friend of mine always listen and help me see things differently. The best part is that friend usually forgot everything I said the next day. It always stays between us. Talking to that friend helped me understand that the situation is temporary and I am the only one who is responsible of how I respond to this situation.
3. Remember your past achievements (successes)
Thousands wonderful achievements can be easily forgotten by a simple failure. Your self confidence used to be high, remember all the things you achieved while you were at your best, all the good things you did,all the things you did to make this world a better place, remember all that. You are not a failure, if it did not work out today, it will work out tomorrow, if you didn’t get it maybe it wasn’t meant for you. Stay positives and remember all the good memories you had, the situation is just temporary. It won’t last forever.
I remember he once told me: you are ready baby girl, i can see in your eyes that you are ready and no one can stop you not even me
This is what I was telling myself during this though period. I had to be there for myself, to check if I have eaten, if I had slept well and wish myself well. I remember all the beautiful things I had accomplished, all the people who look up to me and who I inspire, slowing I realized that I shouldn’t let myself down like that.
4. Learn from the experience and move on
Whenever you don’t learn from your past experience you are bound to make the same mistakes over and over again. All the things you go through are for a particular reason. Each lesson you learn add another layer of bricks into your life, learn form your past experience and move on. don’t bet up yourself, there is no turning back into your past and change things, what happened, happened, what done, is already done. Life goes on forgive yourself and move on.
I have decided to move forward with all the lessons I have learnt and I won’t repeat the same mistakes: letting my emotions take over me and loose myself in the process. I am confident that I have gain knowledge from my past experience and it will be useful to my future.
5. Start a new activity and set new goals
this will give you a sense of starting afresh. Life you are having a new life and another change to make it better. Do something which will force you to step out your comfort zone (see related article What if ). What are the things you would love to do but scare you? Do that. Take dance classes, learn a new skill, start baking, volunteer at church or join a charity club. Set new goals for your future. You know deep inside what would make you happy and regain you confidence. You and you alone know what to do, work on it daily.
I have set up new goals and challenge for myself in addition to the ones I had already. It motivated me to wake up every morning and work toward them. It wasn’t easy and I must admit time to time I found myself crying again and again but time heals almost everything. Be patient with yourself and take breaks in between.
PS: Remember to check on your toughest friends they might be the ones who need the most help.
How do you boost your self confidence
Till next Sunday