How and what to do when YOU are the toxic person

Divine

On the self love journey, a lot of emphasis is put on knowing who are your People? , who has your back and who is faking it. Moreover, we have all heard or read: “Identify toxic people, relationships in your life and cut them off, your well being depends on that.” However, have you ever thought about what if you realize that you are the toxic person in the relationship? What do you do then? It can be in friendship, family, love life or situationship, what if you are the toxic person? It is not always someone else’s fault sometimes it’s your own.

How do you know when you are becoming the toxic person and what to do once you realize you are one

How do you know you are the toxic person?

Psychology experts argued that you know you are being the toxic person in a relationship when traits like becoming more and more needy start to happen. You want your friends, partner, family members to fulfill all your needs and solve all your problems. Another trait of toxic people is they make everything about themselves. Imagine telling a story which happen to you to someone and in the middle of your story the other person tell you: “I know what you mean” and change the subject to talk about themselves. This will automatically put you off.

Others traits of toxic people is that they give negative and unsolicited advice, they are controlling, inconsiderate of others and show them they are not really important. Gossiping behind your friends back, being jealous of their successes are also traits of toxic people. Moreover getting easily upset when things don’t go your way and refusing to comprise are also forms of toxic relationship. I personally relate to “getting upset easily”, likely I am actively working on that.

What do you do once you have realized you are the toxic one in the relationship

I have done some researches on what to do when you realize you are the toxic person in the relationships and also ask around to see what people would do if they realize that they are the toxic ones, here is what I have found:

  • Start by identifying your toxic traits and find exactly in which relationship you are being the toxic person. Acknowledge you have issues to deal with and be willing to work on them.
  • Start by apologizing for your behavior, be honest, ask for help and get better. You might lose your love ones, don’t take it lightly .
  • Don’t do it for them but do it for you. Take time for yourself, take care of yourself as you have issues to deal with on your own and be open about your thoughts.
  • Start listening more than you speak
  • Be known for seeing the positive and never bringing up negative unless there is a constructive reason for it.

What do you do when you realize that you are the toxic person? Leave your thoughts below

Till next Sunday

Be Yourself

25 thoughts on “How and what to do when YOU are the toxic person”

  1. Great post! I’ve seen so many blog posts and articles about figuring out the toxic people in your life, but none about identifying yourself as the toxic person in the relationship. This is just as, if not MORE important. I had to learn this the hard way when I was experiencing the baby blues after having my daughter. I was blaming my friends, husband, family, everyone except myself for being unhappy. I thought they should try harder to make me happy and check up on me more. Then I realized that I was unhappy with myself.. it had nothing to do with them. I also realized that I was expecting them to check up on me all the time, but I never really took much time to check on them. Once I started being more positive and less selfish I started feeling happier again.

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    1. Exactly. I am glad you took time to understand that being happy starts with yourself first. Many people are quick to blame others for their lack of happiness forgetting that it’s an inside job.
      Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I hope more people will see it and learn from you. Sending you love 💕💕

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  2. This was such a great post a lot of times people don’t know they are the toxic person they have on “ the world is treating me bad “ lenses. If most relationships you have are falling apart and you don’t understand why yeah your probably the reason I think that what you said was important you have to apologize don’t just sweep your behavior under the rug because however you made that person feel will still remain until you do.

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    1. I absolutely agree with you. Sometimes we don’t understand what going on in our relationships forgetting that maybe it might be our fault that things are not going well.
      Thanks for reading and for your comment Adrienne😊

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  3. This is such a refreshing post! It’s just as important to avoid becoming a toxic person and recognising it in yourself as it is in others! Thank you for these tips, great post! 😊

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  5. This is a great post and super thought provoking! It’s nice to read something from an alternative point if view on this as we are so many posts that are telling us how to ditch the Negative Nellie’s but nothing to help us if we are at risk of becoming a bit toxic to ourselves! X

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  6. This is a great post! Not only is it a new take on toxic relationships since it focuses on US as the toxic person, but it actually also helped me both identify and validate toxic behaviors, not only my own, but of people around me I otherwise might have not even realized fell into this category!

    – Laura || https://afinnontheloose.com

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    1. That’s true, it is important to understand that sometimes we don’t realize that our behavior is toxic towards people around us and at the same time other people may be toxic for us.
      Thank you so much for reading and leaving great insights💕

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  8. It is a very hard pill to swallow that you may be toxic one. It is easy to identify toxic traits in other people. But when you are the wrongful party how do you go from there? Thanks for this article.

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    1. That’s true. When we are the toxic ones it’s hard to see it and do something about it. We are so used to be the victims. However it’s important to remember that it can easily be the other way around and we must acknowledge our faults and work on them. Thanks for reading 💕

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  11. There was a time in my life, in my early 20s when I said I could never become a toxic person. I believe I was cool enough to always recognize the better aspects of myself and always live in that lane, and never another one. Until one day I allowed a toxic relationship to change my perspective and I started to live in the land of self pitty because I always felt like a victim and everything became about me and my feelings. It’s easier to do than I think people consider. Once I realized I had become that person, and I was sabotaging myself and the other person it was time to take a step back! Thanks for sharing this because it’s important when and if we’ve become something we don’t want to be and pull back!

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    1. Thanks for sharing your personal story. Sometimes we are the toxic person and it takes a lot of courage to admit it and change our habits.
      Thanks for reading 🙂

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