As we get older making friends get harder and harder because we have less energy, less time and fewer opportunities. Having friends is important and they contribute largely to our happiness, friends can encourage you to dream big and become who you want to be. True friendship in adulthood can be much harder to make and maintain than it used to be. You have probably read Upgrade your circle of friends . Today it is all about how to maintain strong friendship as an adult.
How to maintain strong friendship as an adult
1 Be consistent
Stick to your commitment. You can’t always be the one who cancel plans, always promising to see your friends but always cancelling and not making time for your friends. Sometimes you just have to put your super urgent deadlines and agenda aside and go chill with your friends.
2 Choose quality over quantity
It is okay to have 5k friends on Facebook, 50k followers on Instagram but what matter the most the most is human connections you have. Don’t get caught up in superficial friendship, make true connections with friends you can call, have long meaningful conversations, hang out and help each other grow.
3 Make some effort
We know life happens and you might not have time to always call every two days or see your friends on a regular basis but make some effort. Text them an update on your life to have the feeling that you are part of each others life. Follow up on something they said in your last conversation. The only way to go from talking about superficial things to being friends for decade is to start a nudge of making things more personal and continuous.
4 Be honest
Honesty in friendship is important. If you think you can’t make it to that weekend away, be honest and say it rather than hyping everyone about it and not show up on the day. be honest about your expectations and boundaries, be honest when you feel hurt by what your friends did to you. Be honest about what you are doing in life or going through in your life right now, your friends might be able to help you or even invest in your project. Being honest with your friends will help them be honest with you and have people who can tell you straight to your face when you are not being real or when you are messing up with your life. The only way to feel more connected to someone is to open up to them.
5 Remember that not all your friends are on the same level
Friendship is not one size fit all, it comes in different shapes and forms. It is unrealistic to expect one friend to cater for all your needs. It is more natural to have friends for different areas of your life. There are friends that you have known for years, others you instantly clicked with and some other it took long to connect with. All those different friendship are equally important, you can deeply connect and discuss your deepest thoughts with some and connect through experiences and mutual interests with others. Once we open our minds to what friendship can look like, we will gain access to connections that would have otherwise gone under radar.
6 Respect your differences and show appreciation
You don’t need to agree on everything, you don’t have to see everything the same way. Disagreement can occur, healthy disagreement will help you grow and help you see the other side of the coin. Your friends won’t be exactly like you and you won’t exactly be like them. Some days they will ignore your calls or take three days to call you back maybe they are going through some emotional stuff or they are having a bad day. It can happen to all of us. Don’t hold grudge because of those periods and incidents. Show your appreciation to your friends, tell them you love them and express gratitude. It is always nice to feel love and appreciated. Consider your friends interests and passions as well even if they are different from yours. Don’t let your friendship become one sided or self centered in your focus.
7 Be spontaneous/ Create time
Your friends and you can have different schedule all the time, not really having time to do things together. However, stop letting busy schedule contribute to the deterioration of your friendship. Create time, it doesn’t have to be all day, it can even be catching up over a cup of coffee for 30 minutes or have a brunch once a month. Do whatever works for you. Drive by their workplace during lunch time and grab something to eat together. Spontaneous plans can become a routine and work well for everyone.
8 Let things flow
You are going to evolve so are your friends. You are the only one who knows when is time to move on or put more effort in that friendship. Does your friendship fuel or drain you? No matter how long you have been friends for, if it drains you, maybe it’s time to look for new friends.
How do you maintain strong friendship as an adult?
Till next Sunday