Have you ever spent your time giving advice to someone and they end up not doing what you suggested? The most frustrating thing is pouring your heart into advising someone while they have already made up their mind. People used to complain that whenever they give me advice I always ended up doing the total opposite and I will get ” D next time don’t ask for advice if you know exactly what you want to do” Have you been one of those people ? I bet lot of us have. Ever since I have embarked in my journey to self discovery I thought hard about that and I wanted to understand why I do what I do the way I do it. So not listening to some of the advice was on the list and I have read a lot on the subject. Brace yourself you might recognize yourself as well.
Why people don’t listen to your advice
Because you are judging them
It’s has become very easy to be judgemental. People often forget that we are different and that’s the beauty of everything. When people give advice they do it according to what they think they should do if they were facing the exact situation. They give advice according to their values and principles and judge everything outside of that. Maybe that’s why people don’t listen to your advice, they feel judged for being different. When advising someone even if you are tempted to judge, remember you are not them, you can’t force them to be you either.
Because you listened to answer not listened to understand
Listen to understand is an important skill to develop in life. It’s important to understand exactly where the person need help and on what point specifically. Listen to answer is frustrating when you’re the one receiving advice. You can feel whatever they are telling you, it’s just a response to what you said as if it’s a math exam where the formula is set and you have to follow a particular way of solving the problem. Most of the time people that listen to answer think about themselves, what they were going to do or how they were going to react if they were in that situation. So they don’t take time to understand that situation from your point of you. Maybe that’s why they don’t listen to your advice
Because sometimes people just need an ear to listen no need to give your unsolicited opinion
This is the reason why they don’t listen to you. They came to you maybe just so they can feel heard, seen, validated. Maybe they just wanted to remove that heavy burden from their hearts. They don’t need saving, no nothing, just a compassionate and kind ear to listen to them. Too often people can’t help but giving unsolicited adivices right away, especially when it’s a son or daughter or sister or brother talking to an adult or parents or close family. We want to save our loved ones from themselves even when they don’t need that. Maybe that’s why they don’t listen to us. Cause they know we will give unsolicited advices
Because they have already made up their minds, they know what they want to do
Yes sometimes we already know what we want and how we’re going to make that happen and we seek advice to either validate our decisions or seeing someone else’s opinion. Don’t take it personal, we have at least been guilty of that once. Sometimes asking for others opinions is just for entertainment purposes. This is another reason why people aren’t listening to you. They have made up their minds long before they even came to you for your opinions.
Because your adivices are always general googled advice
Another one. Giving general adivices, no value advices, googled advices to a serious and deep situation isn’t the right thing to do. Actually giving general advices is just as good as keeping quiet and say nothing. This is a huge turn off, don’t be surprised when no one actually use your advice cause they probably know that famous advice. Be more intentional about your advices don’t just throw advices like candies. Take time to properly listen and give valuable feedback. Giving general advices to get rid of that task, maybe that’s why they don’t listen to you
Because they didn’t ask you to
Too often we think we know better and we decide to interfere in other people’s lives. We want to save the world, to save people around us. Sometimes, we over hear or we believe by someone’s attitude or age or marital status that they need our “expertise” to save them or do better or make their lives easier. We jump to conclusions and start being their therapist or savior. Even if it is in their best interest, if they didn’t ask, don’t put your month where it’s not needed, your advice can be ignored. Let them decide if they want to hear your advice or not. Wait for them ask your opinion. Maybe that’s why they don’t listen to your advice.
Because when they will apply that advice the entire world will have to know that it’s thanks to you
Some people give advice fror their own glory. They want to be seen, they want t be heard, they want everyone to know that it’s thanks to them that you got better, that you can take care of your family, that you got that car or job or relationship etc… Sometimes people refuse to listen to your advice because they know they will be signing up for a lifetime morale debt that will kee following them. If you give advice or help someone, don’t go around and sing it on rooftops. Maybe that’s why they rater not listen to you.
Because you have no idea what you’re talking about
The advice can be confusing and difficult to understand. If someone doesn’t understand what they should do with the piece of advice you gave, it’s pointless. Sometimes, people believe they have understood your situation and want to give advice while they have absolutely misinterpreted or got misinformed about a situation. Your advice in this case might be unnecessary cause you don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe that’s why they don’t listen to you.
Because your advice is only valid in theory but in practice it’s useless for them
Some advices are best in theory but in practice it’s really difficult to implement. When you give advice you have never tried yourself. Advices that sound good and make you think deeply but in real life it’s just doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do. If you have no advice, rather be quiet and offer your compassionate ear rather than a line your borrowed from the last romantic comedy you watched. Maybe that’s why they don’t listen to you
Because they don’t trust you
Trust is important. If the person you’re giving advice to doesnt trust you, they won’t take it. Why should they take advice from people they don’t trust? If the person doesn’t value you, your advice won’t be welcomed no matter how hard you try. The person doesn’t even get why you’re trying to give advice. Will you take an advice from someone you don’t trust? Maybe that’s why they don’t listen to you
Because they are not ready to take any advice
Your advice might be exactly what they need at that particular moment but they won’t use it unless they decide themselves to put that into practice and take proactive steps to change their lives. You might give the best advice just at the wrong timing.
It’s okay if people don’t listen to your advice sometimes you also don’t listen to other’s advice